The past few weeks are a bit of a fog. Many late nights and long days spent with family and friends, often by Mom’s bedside. Her body finally gave out around 12:30am on September 7th.
Yesterday I began the transition back to work. Everything requires so much effort. The motivation to log in and connect with coworkers was difficult to muster.
It felt like my hands and feet were held down with iron weights. As I was trying to think of a word to help me visualize the weight, I thought of “gauntlets.” That’s the picture that came to mind. But gauntlets aren’t something that should be holding me back. They are used for battle.
Depression and apathy are sly enemies. I have dealt with them before, as have others around me. I know how to keep them at bay, but it takes work and strength.
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Do I let the gauntlets weigh me down, or do I recognize the weight for what it could be, put on the rest of my armor and charge ahead?
I am reminded of Ephesians 6:10-17:
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit,which is the word of God.
In addition to my gauntlets, I will don the belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, feet fitted with readiness, shield of faith, helmet of salvation, and sword of the Spirit.
I will ready myself.